Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep-Alex Brewer

I unexpectadly lost my son Sept 10, 2008 due to complications of a rare metabolic disorder, he was at home the night before and i woke up to having to perform CPR on my son. Although I prevented him from dyeing then, unknown to us it was to late. He was already brain dead. The staff, the docters, and Doc Hillman(Alex's Docter), Dawn Peck (Alex's Genitics Counselor and our close friend), and Julie(his dietician), of MU Childrens Hospital kept him alive till he was four and half, we just couldnt save him this time. I know I should be grateful that I had him for that long, since the majority of the boys that have this disorder dont live past one. It is still so hard to try to say goodbye. We had a NILDTS photographer that day and i am grateful to the bottom of our heart we will have these moments also. There are no words to describe how horrible this day was and how horrible it is to live day by day without my son, to see my daughter lost without her "bubby", or to see Bill without his shadow. I will forever grieve, miss, and hurt to live without him. We shared a love that I will never find again. "I miss you little man and mommy is so sorry i couldnt save you..."

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